So guess what?

I bought my ticket for Testament concert ticket...one for me and one for my brother! February 21st is going to be the best day of my life! I hope I am able to meet Testament. I have a month coming up in a week and I will write more... I apologize that I have not been able to update anything lately. I LOVE YA ALL!

Guess what?

So Testament is coming to Michigan on February on the 21st, and this girl IS GOING!!!! I bought my brother and my ticket a couple of days ago and just printed them! OMG IT'S GOING TO BE AN AWESOME NIGHT! But I also wanted to introduce Patrick to some actual music!

Feeling kind of shitty...

So I've been sitting here just waiting and waiting for something special to happen. I will be honest with you guys I think I fell into this... I think I have been played and I didn't realize I was. Some people really get your hopes up just to screw with you and then you find out that they were just trying to hurt you. I am seriously hurt right now, you guys. 
  I can't really explain what I am mad about YET! I am going to give it until next week, and if nothing happens I will explain everything later.I guess I just needed to express my sadness.

I hope you all had an awesome Thanksgiving!

FINALLY VACATION!

Finally get a week off from school...THANKSGIVING! Hoping that I won't gain too much weight over vacation. Anyways, I have had a VERY good experience this week. I don't know how legit this is, and I am REALLY hoping I haven't been lied too.
   Here's the deal: I got the chance to talk to Sherri Lavine Clemente on Facebook (she is a music producer too). She said she told Louie about the fan group and that he is going to email me. I am hoping that she isn't screwing around with me cause that would be really mean. I don't know her very well so I don't know if she is truthful or not.
   If she is being truthful, this will be an awesome oppurunity to get some answers to my questions and have my role model talk to me! I mean, if you wants too... I won't bug him if he is busy. I have too much respect for this guy. I don't like preying into people's lives if I don't need too. But guys, I almost had a panic attack last night because it made my night AMAZING! I can't believe it! Can it get any better. I am desperate to know what type of drum sticks he used....OH AND I BOUGHT NEW DRUMSTICKS.
   I bought nylon top Pro-Marks and Travis Barker sticks. The Pro-Marks are defiantly my ultimate favorite ones so far. They are amazing. They sound so good. I told my mom I was going to marry my sticks. HAHA! Her face!
   Anyways, it's been a good week... VERY good. I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving :)

Como state facendo? (How are you all doing?)

I am attempting to learn some Italian. I LOVE the sexy language. It's fun to try and learn. What have I been up too? A FREAKIN AMOUNT OF HOMEWORK! Writing like shit! 
   I can't listen to a lot of Testament which probably doesn't surprise anyone, considering that I am obsessed over them. WE HAVE 101 LIKES ON THE LOUIE CLEMENTE FAN PAGE! That is completely awesome and dedication..thanks everyone who liked!

To all those girls...

I know what it's like to not feel beautiful to feel worthless... I have been cheated on and lied to so much, it's hard to believe there are decent people out there... it kills me inside.
   I dated this guy (musician) for like a year... I thought we would get married and have a family together, it was that serious...but I couldn't believe it.
   He spent the night at my best friends house (at the time) all the time. I didn't think much of it at first... I didn't want to believe it. I thought I loved him sooo much. But I found out after I broke up, he was not only sleeping over but having sex with her the whole time I was dating her. ALL THE TIME! She was my BEST FRIEND during that time. It hurt even more cause this girl was SO pretty (looked like Amy Lee). She actually introduced me to Testament. 
   I felt so hurt, I felt ugly beyond comprehension. I still have the worst time in the world believing I might be beautiful. Can a guy actually TRUELY love me forever? Will he told me and tell me he loves me? 
   Through high school I tried to have a relationship with my birth-dad (for I am adopted), and he brought me down by saying stuff like I was never wanted in the first place and shit like that. Brought me down like none other. Permanent scars. To think men can be so cruel....the people you look up too don't want anything to do with you.
 I want you all to know, you are not alone, and one day that special person WILL show up and love you unconditionally. It's so freakin hard being patient. You feel so alone and helpless, not knowing who to trust. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! And to be honest I am high off of pain medication and I am blabbering

The New Order album review...and a little stuff here and there

First off I wanna say that I actually found out that Louie's Clemente's full name is Luciano Angelo Clemente....pretty awesome name.... and I found out a WHOLE lot of other stuff...like a life story which is pretty cool... anyways... I promised not to tell, so yeah.

Anyways, I've been wanting to do a album review on The New Order a long time ago but new went around to it. So I decide today would be a good day.... http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3856532915662694087#editor/target=post;postID=3898286810698701172
What do I think? It's my favorite album, even though it's very much overrated. They did a marvelous job covering the song "Nobody's Fault"... and "Disciples of the Watch" is such an awesome song....VERY unique... I don't know of any other songs about Children of the Corn. There is such a good feeling I get for this album... such a good thrash sound.They were so young and so alive. Each song holds a different meaning and a different perspective on life.
I am in-love with the title song "The New Order"... great guitar and drum intro... if you are wondering why I am so in love with Louie's drumming, it's because it's so upbeat and pretty perfect and fast. "Musical Death" is like the perfect instrumental song" everything is timed out so well... I believe in this album Chuck's vocals are at peak. There is something about the high notes and melody that strikes my fancy. Those people just know how to make such good music. No wonder they are my favorite thrash metal band. They are SO underrated it's unbelievable.

I am going to do an album review on Souls of Black soon... it wasn't the best selling album...but we'll see how good it is :) 
 

Topless Wednesdays: Tuesday is too early in the week for me to go topless

My title says it all. I will be honest with you guys, I have found myself hanging out in my underwear a lot more then usual. Idk you but I do. It's comfortable.  
  I have NEVER had so much homework in my life. It's insane! I feel like I am going nuts... I always have a paper due, and I always over over 300 pages to read each night... I have ZERO social life, accept Facebook and occasionally texting friends.... also if any of you find me Facebook stalking you, I promise I am trying not to be creepy, I just love making new friends through Facebook :)
   If any of you are facing college drepression I am truly sorry... I swear it's the most difficult thing in the world. I feel horrible all the time and the worst thing is there is NOTHING I can do about it. I keep hoping that I can figure out something to do to maybe make my life a little more interesting.... oh well I will figure it out....

Isn't this guy the cutiest Edward you have ever seen? OMG! Happy late Halloween...sorry I didn't do a Halloween blog... I LOVE Halloween...best holiday of the year... watched the old A Nightmare on Elm Street and Rob Zombie's Halloween... A Nightmare on Elm Street wins hands-down.
 

I want to go on vacation...

Even though I am not a very "religious" or "spiritual" person,  I really think it would be cool to go on a journey to like Indonesia or India. I have been so resetless and I really want peace. I mean, I go to church and everything, but I never really put it so much into practice. America is not a peaceful place. Everyone is constantly moving and working, there NEVER seems to be any rest.
   I want to take in the nature and the fresh air. Do we really take time to take everything in here? I don't think any of us know anything about a peaceful life. Our families come 2nd and so do our friends. We live in a very sad fast pace culture.
   I also want to try the food :)   It would be nice and yummy. I know I am a dork, but I bet that I would feel much better eating that food then this food here....all these fatty shit we eat. 
  Imagine just sitting under the stars or under the bright sun near a beautiful lake or woods, just sitting here not doing anything but listening and looking. IT SOUNDS SO AMAZING! I am starting to be at peace thinking about it. I think I am going to start meditating more. I think it might be good for me. Especially with all this college shit.  
  I hope that you all are doing really well, because the weather is starting to get really cold here.

And for all those people on the East Coast...I hope you are safe and you remain safe, you are in my prayers...love you <3

FINALLY fun with some friends

So I am FINALLY having some fun with friends on Saturday.... you guys have no idea how important and awesome this is for me. I have had no social life since July...at all. I was scared I would have no social life all year.  
 Guys if you are a Testament fan or Louie Clemente fan PLEASE join the group  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Louie-Clemente-Fans/417481768311476   on Facebook!!! It is run by my friend and me. We are always updating it and adding photos and videos. We love every one of you for joining us.... or if you just love old school thrash metal please like our other group http://www.facebook.com/pages/Old-School-Metal/512355412111107 

 on Facebook.... we are updating and adding stuff all the time. We wanted to give bands and people recognition. Please only like if you are truly a fan. 
  Nothing really else has been going on.... except school, Facebook and Tumblr. ALSO if you wanna see my Tumblr or follow me http://musicluvr666.tumblr.com/
here ya go! I would love to hear from you guys. I really wanna post more stuff on here like videos. I am in a music more..............................By the way if you don't know who Testament this is an interview of drummer Louie Clemente and singer Chuck Billy.... I stronger suggest you guys check them out...COMPLETELY  kickass. For some reason I love Louie's drumming... it's so fast and thrash-like.

 

School Life

SO.....school life starts up on Monday. I am very nervous. First year of college! Isn't it crazy? I remember my freshman year in high school. It was horrible. I am also very excited for the different people and the different things I will learn. I wonder who I will meet?
    My college books cost a little over $800 all together! ISN'T THAT CRAZY? I can't believe that it's happening.
  I have been applying for jobs everywhere. I have had like 3 job interviews last week, and none of them weent through

I LOOOOVVVVVVVVE October an fall...

Fall...the season of beautiful cooler weather, sweatshirts, books, and jeans... my FAVORITE season...
  I love the storms we get, the leaves changing and Halloween. I know I am a little old to really celebrate...but I love dressing up as something interesting and then walking around my neighborhood and just stare at people (I was Freddy Kroger last year!) I went all out with the sweater and hat...but I was the super sexy version, of course... I made it fun. 
   I also love all the different horror movies that are on TV. I absolutely love the old movies like Halloween. They did a remarkable job on them. THE 1980s baby! 
  I have found myself drinking a lot more tea lately... I love the feeling of being warm and wrapping up in a blanket. Fall also inspires me to start painting again! I love painting autumn paintings of the trees and nature. Nature is seriously beauty and never fails to amaze me. There is something about walking around outside and taking a deep breathe.  
 I have also been practicing my drums like CRAZY! I am even going to start a band with a friend which is going to be insanely exciting! Classic rock!!!   
 My friend is an AMAZING guitarist that has been practicing for years. He asked ME TO BE IN THE BAND, which I guess means something. I guess that means I am getting good. I practice sometimes up to 3 hrs. a day, trying to master perfection. Everyone in the house said that I am really REALLY starting to sound really good. (self confidence level has gone ^^^ for sure!) 
  Been listening to a diversity of music: Testament (of course), Marilyn Manson, Murderdolls, SlipKnoT, The Who, Jimi Hendrix, Journey, Queen, Green Day, Enslaved, Nightwish, Blink 182 (I love the 90-2000s 
bands), Bowling For Soup, AFI, and Falling In Reverse, and some Alex Skolnick Trio (always can listen to jazz, especially with amazing guitarist Alex Skolnick himself!

  Call me a nut for being in-love with music if you want. But it is such a MASSIVE part of my life. I feel like I am where I am meant to be when I listen to it and play it. I wanna play drums forever, until I can't play anymore. I wanna go somewhere with it.

Drummers that inspire me:
---Keith Moon
---Joey Jordison
---Louie Clemente
---Paul Bostaph
---Gene Holgan
---Ringo Starr
---Ryan Seaman
---Shawn Drover
---John Tempesta
---Sandy West
---The Rev
---Racci Shay
--- 

Alex Skolnick from Alex Skolnick Trio (jazz band) and from Testament (thrash metal band from 80's to now)

 

I'm going to be honest...

Hey guys, I have been so busy with essays for school. I am so tired, and my tiredness and isolation has made me extremely depressed. I know that I am bipolar and it makes life extremely difficult. I feel like throwing things, screaming, crying, and laugh at myself for being so stupid. It's completely ridiculous...  
  I have found myself crying a little bit more then I probably should be. I don't know what to do anymore. I am happy I can basically vent to the world, without them knowing how I am. 
   I've been listening to a pretty big varity of music lately: everything from Testament, Jeffree Starr, Secondhand Serenade, and AFI.
   Have you guys ever felt extremely alone like that? I feel relieved that I have had over a 10,000 read my blog... for some reason it gives me peace. Odd right?  
 I have been playing the drums like CRAZY! My and my friend are starting a classic rock band, apparently I am pretty good...he is AMAZING at guitar...better then most I have seen. I guess that means something that he asked me to play for him.  
 I saw the movie Sinister last Sunday with my sister. It made me never want kids....EVER! Let's just say the movie really isn't scary, but more on the gory and creepy side. Awesome storyline.   
  Halloween is coming up and I have NO idea what I am going to be! I have been invited to college costume parties and I need to know what to be...defiantly something sexy ^_^ ... I finally don't feel sluty showing off some boob-age LMAO.
   Recently I have been studying different religions and cults for fun... I realized there is SO much out there I don't know and wish to learn. I mean, I have my own beliefs, but it's always cool to study others... I promise I am NOT creepin on people. 
  Me and my friend (from Norway) have started a fan page for our favorite drummer... which I am not going to reveal right now...let's just say we actually have a lot of hits...and pictures that NO ONE has been....pretty kickass.   
 I REALLY hope you guys are doing great... it's going to be an awesome autumn...it's my ultimate favorite season...it's so beautiful! Enjoy it take nature in!
PCE and love,
PJ

 Testament Live in London: Raging Waters (one of my ultimate favorite songs)

Playing the Drums...

So I have been pretty busy with my midterms for classes. But I have found a lot of time to practice my drums.... I have gotten SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD! I am so proud of myself. The only problem is I have developed carpel tunnel in my hands...which sucks...especially since I am 19.   
 That is pretty young to have problems but whatever. I have been practicing a lot of thrash metal. You know I am in-love with it.  
  My friend and me also created a "Louie Clemente fan page" on Facebook (I know I know, a little crazy), but it made it fun. We talk to a bunch of fans, and we found pictures. We also found other information that we are not going to share with the world (sorry Testament fans!) about Louie and what's been going on with him the past years.   
 I feel like I am really REALLY getting into music. I have found my true love. Music NEVER fails you....it's always stuck in your mind, and waiting for you when you get home from a long day.   

   The whole "Louie" thing is pretty cool. I made friends with this awesome person from Norway. We  run the page together called "Louie Clemente fans" if you wanna join the page with us! WELCOME! We love the conversations. 

I have really isolated myself...

Every since ckasses started up for me I think I have seriously let myself go insane. My only type of human contact is through a cell phone or Facebook. I don't remember the last time I actually went out to have some fun. I guess that sometimes this winter I will be trying out clubbing. I need a social life.
   I guess it's a little too much to ask... I think this is everything a college student goes through. Our cell phones, labtops, and books become the only things we can rely on (and music of course). There would be NO life without music. It saves ilfe. Keeps me a little bit on the sane side.
   I have made strange friends over Facebook...some creep the shit out of me! I am not going to lie here, people. I have met people are even crazier then me! I didn't even know that was possible :D
   I screwed up this really good chance with a guy. As you all know, I have had a single status for some months now, and desperete to start the dating field again.
   What happend is I don't really like depressed people. I am sometimes depressed and there is only so much I can take from people. So because this person was seriously ALWAYS freakin depressed... I said something about it. I told them they couldn't let one event in their life define them forever... that's when I lost a friend. He never wants to talk to me again. I guess guys always have this cookie-cutter type person in mind, and when a girl speaks their mind, it freaks them out. Welcome to life. When will guys seriously grow some cohukas (just learned that word) and get over it? Women are people too, dispite what books and movies say.
   I have watched a lot of interesting movies lately since I have been alone. I stay up until like 4 watching movie like "Dazed and Confused," "The Breakfast Club," and even the old "Halloween." A bunch of really good movies that have nothing in common...except it shows off how stupid teenagers can be.
   "In high school everyone is either getting drunk, doing drugs, or laid, or all at the same time..." You know? It never changed. It's been the same for years, and I don't think it will ever changed.
   The funny thing is getting wasted, having sex, and getting high was fun when I was young in high school...after a while it just wasn't fun anymore. I found so much more important things in my life.
  9th grade it was essential to be high all the time... sophomore and junior year it was party -central and if you didn't sleep with people you were a complete freak...
   I tell you what people I did all three, all it left me with was hangovers, food cravings, weight-gain, and unwanted heartbreak.
   So those in high school, grow up...get everything out of your system because you will soon be introduced to the real world, where nothing matters besides college, work, and buying what you need.

What's Up?

I know that I really haven't been on here lately, but I have been so tired and busy from school. Who thought college takes so much out of you? I have been listening to a lot of music lately like Metallica, ACDC, and a lot of Testament (of course).   
 My older sister is moving back for a little bit until she finds an apartment, because her fiense and her didn't work out (after a year you would think you would know). My brother is working at a library ( even tough he NEVER picked up a book), and I am job searching and working my ass off at everything.

What ever happend to Louie Clemente?

   I am a big Testament fan... I listen to more of the stuff from the 80s and 90s. I like the thrash metal they used to really play. But since their old drummer Louie left, I have been curious...why did he really leave? I mean there are rumors that it was something to do with his wrists, and wanting a more stable career.
   But I wish I could really ask him why, and what was his thoughts, and why he doesn't play drums at all anymore. He was charismatic when it came to his drumming... I  always enjoyed the different expressions he had and all the hair tossing... VERY metal.
   I also wonder if he had stayed if they might have the same sound as before. I love Practice What You Preach, The New Order, The Ritual, The Legacy, and Souls of Black. They are all MY FAVORITES. They are on the top of my lists. I know that in the past they didn't get recognition until the late 80s early, but they made an impact in the world. They made me change my ideals of the world around me, and the music made me feel awesome. But I feel like with Louie leaving a new sound was created. I'm not bashing Testament's new stuff, because it is awesome... I just miss the thrash metal sound... I guess I just want the sound to live on \m/ \m/

Do you guys think I should pursue journalism?

I have been thinking a lot about it....about what career I should take. I was thinking about journalism since I love writing so much. I want to make a difference in the world. I want people to see my name and be like "Damn! She sure knows how to write!"
   I know that I wanted to pursue graphic design for a while. But I find myself leaning towards writing. It's my element I feel comfortable saying anything and  I want to relate to you guys, even if you don't freakin comment on ANYTHING that I post. 
   I believe that you can change the world with words. I think people are so curious that they NEED to know what is going on.There are so many topics out there people are afraid to write about.
   What do you think though? Should I go with my gut?

Things Are Not As They Seem

I know that sometimes I look  like I have everything put together, but I don't. Since college has started I have been feeling so alone, and my self confidence is really low. Who thought I would be rejected completely. What is wrong with me?
   I have been trying to make new friends and talk to people. But people don't seem to want to expand outside their comfort zone. I feel like it's high school all over again. I just feel like I am never going to find a place where I belong. Is it wrong to want to feel loved by people.
   I am sorry guys if I am being completely depressing, but I am soooooooooooooooo down right now. Is anyone even out there. I feel like I am writing to no one. PLEASE talk to me. I need someone. 

Update: What I've Been Up Too...No I Am Not Dead...

Hey people! Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  busy with school. I started my college classes last week and I have been swamped with homework. I haven't really been home and my internet keeps kicking me off... it's truthfully a piece of shit. But whatever. I'm hopefully getting it checked out this week.
   Anyways... I have realized a few new things in life...your internet becomes your best friend. Everything for class is online...even my book I have to read for English. I bought it online for cheaper then actually buying the book... but I want a better laptop so I am saving up the big bucks to buy one. I guess I am lucky that I have one that kinda works.
   I have been listening to a verity of music lately: everything from Slipknot to FamilyForce5. Yes, I love music like that. I have a very broadband of music. I love The Who and the Grateful Dead too...oh yeah the freaking 60's, man!
   I have found college enlightning... I love the people! They are so mature and all they really want to do is get to know people too... I already made a knew friend who is just as crazy about Slipknot as I am.
   I am also in the process of job searching. I have an interview on Thursday for a job at my college for a Graphic Design job... I am keeping my fringers crossed, but I honestly don't know. Even though I am going into Graphic Design (or journalism) I still don't know a whole lot about it. Maybe the guy with be merciful. WISH ME LUCK ON THAT!
   I also have been pretty lonely. I've been trying to look for a guy. I haven't been in relationship in months! I really need a good guy for once. I am getting older and I am impatient. I have a right to be. Being in college and not dating anyone is actually pretty stressful. You see everyone walking around all happy that they are in a relationship, and I am like  BOOHOO my life flippin sucks! 
   Whatever people, what have you been up to? I promise I will post something more interesting REAL SOON! Probably next weekend when I have another break. LOVE YA ALL! PCE

Are You Guys All DEAD?

Dear people, I KNOW you're reading my blog, I have my ways to find out, but I am wondering if it's a bunch of robots reading because I get ZERO comments. I don't bite heads off, I am curious on what you guys think about all this crap I keep spitting out of my mouth. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave a comment somehow....let me know what's going on!

True Love?

Dear people who read all my blogs, I wanna talk about true love. I don't remember if I hit on this subject before or not. If I did, this is a refresher, if I didn't, welcome.
   So I know someone, who seems to fall in-love with someone different each week. Gone through 4 different people in 2 months. She called each of them true love. I am a little confused her because I learned that true love is with the same person forever.
   Question today: is it possible to just "fall in love" with someone like that instantly? I am not talking about a bunch of different people all the time. I am talking about the right person just like that. Just knowing that it's forever. Am I wrong to say I think love takes time to develop into something beautiful and meaningful.
 I have had my share of boyfriends. There was about 2 that I actually thought I could see myself with forever. But, problems arise, not the type of problems you can work out, but major flaws that you know you can't fix and that will defiantly jeopardize a relationship right away. It took time for me to figure that out.
     So ask yourself this: what really is true love?

Sexy sexy sexy....girls....

This is just another example here of how many bands are always degraded girls in their music. When I saw SlipKnoT in concert I was thankful that they don't do that. I haven't listened to one SlipKnoT song where they do that.
    Even some of the Christian bands degrade women. They are making women feel bad about themselves if they don't fit a certain criteria. Not every girl looks a certain way. We all have different features that make us perfect.
   I had to stop listening to a lot of that music because it was actually making me feel pretty shitty about myself. I haven't been feeling very  good about myself lately. My self confidence level has dropped dramatically. I don't wanna get up in the morning, I don't wanna eat, and I spend the whole day in my pajamas. I just don't really feel the worth.
    I'm serious guys. That's my life. Doing exactly opposite of what I wanna do. You see, I have had 3 guys in my life cheat on me, and they were all very close together. I don't know if that says something about me or not. I am really that horrid looking? Am I really so messed up that no one could possibly love me?
    Well world, even if I can't feel good about myself, I really want you all to feel good about yourselves. It's not fair that we let the world win on what we say is right or wrong in a girl. It's not fair that we have to pick and choose what we are and what we can be. Be yourself. No one is better at being you than you!

Relationships...

READERS, let's talk about relationships. I for one have been in MANY relationships, the problem? All with the wrong guys. They all lied, cheated, or used me. Not the type of feeling a girl wants to feel. Especially when you find out one of them had been sleeping with your best friend (^%@^%$@^!!!!).
   Anyways, I am finding that relationships REALLY suck. I honestly don't know if I ever want to be in one again. I feel alone a lot, but I feel like I get my heart broken a lot more then I probably should. I am seriously a cool person. I've been told I am not the ugliest person in the world, I try to stay interesting, and I have a MAJOR love for other people. Just because I may get annoyed with someone doesn't mean I don't love them.
    Relationships don't really seem to get better. I watch all these couples so happy and together, and nothing seems to be wrong, and I always wonder how real that really is. Can someone be truly that happy with no problems? Can it happen. What do you think?

I'm BACK!

Hey people's, I'm sorry it's been months since I last wrote anything. I was finishing up some school shit. Now I am done and I have all summer...well, until the end of August then I'm back again. Anyways, I recently discovered the band Falling in Reverse. I know they have been out since like 2010, but spare me, I am a little slow when it comes to figuring bands. The band has old singer Ronnie Radke as the singer. He was released from prison with what he says is a complete new attitude and new life. I personally believe him. He's been on his best behavior, and his music isn't as depressing and dark as the Escape the Fate shit. It's actually kind of funny.
     Anyways, I've been thinking a lot about eating disorders. I honestly don't know why it's just been on my mind a lot lately. I guess it's because I have personally been struggling with my weight. I have been told for a while now by my mother that I need to lose weight. I've been healthier and trying, but it's a process.
   I guess you could say a lot has been going on and that's why I have written anything in a while. My older sister, whom I love and respect, was diagnosed with skin cancer a couple of months ago, and it keeps coming back when she removes it. I can't stand to see her go through all this. She is getting married soon and this should be the last thing that she has to worry about.
    I was also going through a drug-withdraw because my doctor thought it would be smart to just TAKE me off my medication. So my body decided to tell me to piss off, and I ended up in the hospital one night. It took me 2 weeks, almost 3, to start getting back to normal. I kind of understand what drug-addicts go through, and it really REALLY sucks.
   I have found myself singing along to Lady Gaga lately (LMAO), and I am not even that big of a fan of hers, but I have found myself listening to her more and more. I guess her songs are a little catchy. Anyways, I really hope you are all enjoying your summer, USA, or if you are in Europe or wherever in the world, if you are in school, I really hope everything is going well for you. I hate seeing people go through pain :).

                                                   STATIC X: COLD

I feel like I should be in the movie Grease.

I was listening to some old school music and it reminded me of the movie Grease. It made me wish that I was in the movies, ya know? Everything is played out so well and things that are suppose to happen happen. Things aren't confusing anymore. It would relieve stress. I mean, I would love to know what will happen in my life to a certain extent... people I meet, people I wish I never met. The little things in life. Some things like me dying is something I would never want to know. Do you know what I mean? Things in life become so unbearable I just want to know what will make them right.
   I think we all want our life to be a movie sometimes. It seems more happy and well played out. What do you think?

Summer

Oh my goodness! I absolutly love this summer weather that we are getting. It's completely beautiful. All I wanna do is lay in the sun all day long. People, if you live in cold parts on the USA or other countries, you are missing out. This golden 70 and 80 degree weather is something I will NEVER get tired of. Everything feels so alive and fresh. It's complete serenity. You feel renewed when you walk outside. I have found myself sitting outside and writing all my feelings down and drawing pictures like a little kid. I LOVE IT! I wish I could do it all year round. But I will admit, I do LOVE fall more than any other season, so I can't complain. Fall and all the others are just beautiful.

MUSIC VIDEOS!

Freaking SlipKnoT...something you can't stop loving no matter who you are. They are awesome!

seeing SlipKnoT in concert in July! EXCITED

Dear readers, today we have a very interesting topic: it's called what could happen and what happens. I could get up and get ready, but I end up in bed again for another 2 hours. I could talk things out with someone, but I decide to end it. I could become friends with the people I hate, but I end up hating them more.
   Things are very confusing right now with everything going on that's why I haven't been on in a while. I've been busy fixing my life and figuring out things. No, I don't have everything all together. I have everything BUT all together. I've had break-ups and I've reunited with friends.

   So I don't really have my thoughts together right now. I don't think I will ever have them truly together. I just wanna go to the beach. I think that's where I am going to end up spending most of my summer.

What I've Been Up To...

I haven't been on here in a while and I apologies. I've just been so busy with graduating. I am college bound!  I've been doing a lot more artwork also. I will put some more up later. Anyways, I've been expanding my music interest to things like Marilyn Manson and Alice Cooper. I am finding out I am loving all the genres within rock music. I love old school rock from the 80's, punk bands from the 90's, metal, and horror punk rock. It's all so fasinating to me. There is so much offered out there!
    I am also doing a performance in the street in Grand Rapids this coming Thursday with a group I go to UICA with. I don't know exactly what it will be but it sure will be interesting.
    I have been working on a lot of scenery paintings so far this year. It's something I am good at and enjoy. I am hoping to get some practice in this summer regarding art practice for myself. I should be so lucky to...

I've been listening to some good old fashion Murderdolls.... makes me wish good old punk never died! I mean, I love Marilyn Manson and these guys, but I feel like horror punk is trying to hard to be like every other band. It's not working out well for them. I love their old stuff and style, where the guys sometimes surprised us in skirts. They had the old goth/punk to them. Sometimes I feel conformity is hitting every band. SlipKnoT (love their music) used to be old school metal, now they are turning into another BFMV band! UGH! KEEP YOUR ORIGINALITY PEOPLE!

People... :P

Dear readers, I am sorry if today I become annoying. I am just pissed off and thought I would share my thoughts WHY. I read this really cool text saying something like "meet someone who will change your life not relationship status." It's cute. But it's not reality. How many times in your life time do you REALLY meet someone, the one, that changes your whole life for the better? Honestly, none. I think when people finally meet is much more quiet and AVERAGE! YES! I SAID IT! I don't care, because it's true. I speak the gospel, ladies and gents.
   I guess right now, suffering with the stomach flu, and being pissed off at everything I shouldn't have a right to get mad at the world. I guess sometimes I need to sit back. But there is one thing I learned: NEVER compromise your morals for someone. You get burned in the end. High school relationships show you that sometimes. 

Thrash Metal

I have found myself listening to a lot of different thrash metal lately. I guess sometimes I get myself too involved in the metal scene of the 80's. I get mad because I MISSED THE FREAKIN BOAT! Being born in the 90's it's like I missed everything important. You might be think PJ music isn't EVERYTHING but for me, it's part of everything. I love music! I am a MASSIVE music junkie. I crave it. I have to listen to it all day long. I tell people about it before hand how I love Testament and Slayer and Megadeath. I don't want them to not know killer bands.
   Luckily I get to see Slayer and Anthrax in concert this summer. BADASS! Along side SlipKnoT which is legendary in their own special way.
   Anyways, I guess this is my ode' to thrash metal bands. My their music live through all periods of time and prevail!

Exploring Downtown Grand Rapids

I had so much fun last night exploring the artist lofts and apartments of downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was with a group of students from UICA, and we were looking into living options downtown. It was so much fun! I got to meet starting artist and find out what their lives were like.
   I've always loved the city, and always wanted to live in an apartment downtown. I like the people, art, and music found there. It would be completely BA to move down there. Good thing is it's not super expensive. Especially the part of town I was in. It would be near my college, and I think it's a good idea to look into in the future for my career. The whole artist places was called "Avenue for the Arts." It was a great program. I'm thinking about it. I don't know if I am really good enough yet. I wanna become a tattoo artist. I think I would be good. I designed my own tattoo I have so I think I just might have a chance. It's a good field and they get paid not too bad. I never wanted a fancy job like a doctor. I just wanted to enjoy what I do for a living. I think that's the most important. I could minor in Fine Arts. Do some medical training in college and BANG: tattoo artist.

Isn't this pic trippy? I finally finished it today...took me 3 whole days to do it! UICA classes tonight, going to explore the art of the city of Grand Rapids! Should be interesting.
   Anyways I've been kinda sick lately, stomachs been upset and on top of that...still trying to get rid of a cold! Try a month with a cold! It's insane! You would think I would be over it by now.
     But readers, even though sometimes I feel like I am writing and throwing stuff out into the internet, I know you're there. Thank you! Okay, today I am trying to imagine myself on the beaches of California with the Beach Boys playing in the background. Crappy weather in Michigan, wondering if summer/spring will EVER come. Rain and low 50's temps. School is almost over for the year then it's COLLEGE! I'm so ready to get out of school! I'm having senior-idous and wanting to leave now and just get OUT of classes.
    Been listening to a lot of Testament's The Ritual album. Trying to figure out drum parts and shiz like that. Also learning lyrics. I love being able to sing to my favorite songs!
     I need art ideas!!!!! I am running out of things to paint! This one ^^^ is suppose to be Native American (ode' to my Native American background).

Art Work and the UICA

One of the few puzzle pieces I created. I am actually working on a Native American piece right now that is SO awesome! I am very excited for it. Once I am done I will surely put a picture up to show everyone. I've never been so excited about an art piece before. I am Native American so it's like an ode' to Native American's! Cherokee especially. This one ^^^ is kinda a random hippie piece of work. I don't like it as much as the stain-glassed rose piece. The other one took more time and looked more professional.
    Another UICA class tomorrow. I wonder if we will actually do some art soon! I got to meet some really awesome artist that put their work up there. (UICA =  Urban Institute of Conemperary Art). It's located in downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan. It's the perfect place for a starting artist like me to take classes and learn from the best.

Entirely out of Sharpie's! Took two days

                                                               MY POSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reality Check

Dear readers, if you ever get into the situation where people think that your world revolves around them...run. I swear to God run! Why does it seem every relationship is like that? Suddenly the moons and stars and suns all have to bow down to them? How pathetic.
   Idk... just been thinking about that lately and how pissed off I am getting at people always like "u never spend time with me" and it's like 8 people. I have a life. I am a student. That is first. 2nd is an author and writing. 3rd a drummer. Geez! That's all I have for now. CHECK OUT MY ART WORK =====>>> I'm going to put more up as I can. This is a stain glass looking puzzle piece. Took me about 3 hours to finish. What ya think?

Sad Excuse For a Teenager

With my high school career almost over, I realize I am a sad excuse for a teenager. I don't party or drink or smoke (well I try not to smoke). I don't do anything teenagers seem to do. I even go to bed at a descent hour! Like 9 or 10 o'clock. I just never thought about it before until now. It's kind of funny when you think about it. I just guess some people grow up faster than others. While teenagers are grabbing a bear I'm grabbing a nice cold soda. That sounds better.

Spring Day... I Hope

Dear readers, it's another normal beautiful sort of spring day in Michigan. I guess if you say 50 degrees and sunny is spring, then whatever. It's inspired me to spend more time outdoors. It brings out my inner-hippie that's been hiding all winter. I feel like putting on a Grateful Dead album and painting. I honestly feel like painting a million colors. They don't even have to make sense together. They can just go together. They can be beautiful. I hope that one day I can make such a beautiful painting that me myself doesn't HATE! Anyways, been listening to some SlipKnoT and W.A.S.P. a lot lately. It's cool man!

ROCK MAYHEM FESTIVAL!!!!!!

Guess who's going? ME!  Guess who hasn't been to a concert in the longest time in the world? ME! I am sooooo pumped! I bought my ticket last night online. The line up has bands like Slayer, SlipKnoT, Anthrax, and Moterhead. It's going to be one kick-butt night! Especially since I get to share it with special people around me. Anyways, I am so excited. I missed the Testasment concert that I wanted to go to more than anything in the world, so I was hoping maybe this would make up for it. Seeing a few bands from the 80's and early 90's take the stage will be wonderful, even if I am not even close to the stage. Whatever.
     Anyways, I am the type of junkie who will probably end up making my own t-shirt just for the event and where it forever.
     Anyone else out there planning any great concert trips this summer? I think it will be the perfect summer for them. I think too many people have drawn away from the music scene and we should bring it back! It's under appreciated, and deserves all the worship that follows great bands.

ART!

I am personally really excited to announce that I will be getting back into art! I have started a program this week that will help me open my mind up to the world around me and suck it all in. It's kinda like breathing in air. I will breathe out all the art and creativity that is inside me and offer the world something new and brillant! What do you think about that? I am going to find a way to post pictures of my art here on my blog. Idk if it will work or not.

What I've Been Up Too

I have been bored out of my freaking mind! I feel like I'm getting depressed by staying inside all day and not doing anything. I don't even feel like painting. I have no energy to practice my drums and hang out. I need a life. I really do. Online seems to be the only way to go lately. Whatever.

Life: A New Beginning

Dear people of this Earth, I think things might be looking up agian. I feel like I'm...reborn or something. Trust me I feel just as awkward righting it as it sounds, but I write the truth. I woke up this morning feeling like I took a deep breathe of cool ocean breeze, or cold drink of water. Refreshed-ness. It's defiantly one of those feelings that I wish would last.
   But have you ever gotten that horrid feeling in the back of your brain that you know something REALLY bad is going to happen though? I feel that and I don't know why. It's like I am paranoid or something. Maybe I am. Whatever. I need to really start enjoying life. Maybe things will look up and be okay and I am just worrying a little bit too much. Whatever. Life's life right?

Flying like a Butterfly

I feel so free! I finally left the guy who was driving me insane! But I guess that's what life is about. Like Forest Gump said "life's a box of chocolates." So true. Now that I feel like I am free, I feel like I have the whole world out there waiting for me. I don't have to worry about anything or anyone but myself. I can be happy again. Maybe life will start making sense again for me. JUST maybe things will finally turn around. I feel like maybe there are things I can look forward to again.
    I broke free! I'm not even joking. That's EXACTLY how I feel about it. I feel like everything is making sense. Do you believe in fate? I've been asking myself that for some days. I've been asking myself about if things could possibly be planned out to such a degree that I don't understand my own life. Maybe I don't. Maybe things are going to happen in my life that are so miraculous that no one will understand. No one.

I Ate the Forbidden Fruit!

Sometimes I look back and I wonder why the heck I do the things I do. Why do I seem to screw up EVERYTHING! I feel like a freakin' cat-lady. Well, I feel like I am going to turn into one. I want to be happy. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again and didn't have to worry about anything but what type of crayons I HAD to have or what clothes I HAVE to wear. Things just don't seem that simple anymore. Sometimes I feel so lost I just don't know what to do anymore. Why? That's the question that's been sturring up in the ragging waters of my mind. I hate hurting people, and I hate getting hurt. Is it alright for an adult to be so scared about something so new?  I feel like I am being thrown out into the world and everything is going to be different now. Now I worry about the people around me and how to please. I wish I didn't have to please anyone but myself. I wish that one day I could look back and say "hey, I did a good job at my life," or "man was I freakin' happy."
        Things are just complicated. I think I took high school for granted. I feel like college might be the same. I want to experience art and relationships in a more serious light. I want something to look forward too. Is that too much to ask for? A promised future that won't let me down. Promised people who won't let me down no matter what. I need some type of security and belonging in my life. Gosh, there I go rambling again. I just don't know people. Am I going more and more insane?

Do You Believe in Fate?

I have an issue people. A REAL ISSUE! I am stuck in a horrid relationship. It's a promised relationship so I don't know how to get out. The other problem....there is a guy. An amazing guy who seems to perfect to be true. Not even joking people! EVERYTHING in common. Same dreams and hobbies. WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT? It teases me daily!

Random Shiz

Well people of this planet, I have found myself in a slump artistically. I need a new idea, an epiphany. I need something to punch me hard in the face! While I sit here drinking an Oreo shake I still have no idea what to draw. I wanted it along the musical-wise. Maybe a HORRAH to all those wonderful musicians out there who get underappreciated all the time! Like Keith Moon from The Who, or Alex Skolnick from Testament. Something to show their reconition. I want them to have all the appreciation they deserve. What do you all think? Am I going insane yet?

SPRINGTIME FEVER

With the new weather and the high temps, I haven't felt much motivation to do anything. The heat makes me feel so tired. I have been sucking at the drums, and my passion for art has almost disappeared. I hate this weather. I hate feeling lazy. If it was a little cooler I would LOVE to go outside and draw some scenery. That sounds beautiful. What do you think?

My Art Project

Okay, so the whole idea I had for this aweosme art project was gluing a bunch of old records together to make a poster. Than I was going to paint them bright colors and paint other designs over them, like flowers and tattoo designs. I thought it was a perfect idea. Someone that lived near by me was sweet enough to donate all their  records to me. What do you think?

New Art Project?

ladies and gents, sit back and relax with your cold soda, probably throwing my thoughts out into the wind here. I've been sitting around at school all day with a knee that is KILLING me not able to do much walking. I guess sometimes life just decides to suck for you. Anyways, the weather has been really nice. Here is my idea: I have a million old records. What do you think about a new art project? Glue the records some-what together and paint on them my Ed Hardy like pictures I do? Make a GIANT poster of them. I guess that since I've been starting small it's time for a big project on my own.
  I've also been practicing the drums EVERY SINGLE DAY. I guess I would make a good metal drummer. I think I would and so does everyone else. So we'll see. I don't know. I need some feedback PLEASE!
-PJ \m/ \m/ keeping it metal