Life: A New Beginning

Dear people of this Earth, I think things might be looking up agian. I feel like I'm...reborn or something. Trust me I feel just as awkward righting it as it sounds, but I write the truth. I woke up this morning feeling like I took a deep breathe of cool ocean breeze, or cold drink of water. Refreshed-ness. It's defiantly one of those feelings that I wish would last.
   But have you ever gotten that horrid feeling in the back of your brain that you know something REALLY bad is going to happen though? I feel that and I don't know why. It's like I am paranoid or something. Maybe I am. Whatever. I need to really start enjoying life. Maybe things will look up and be okay and I am just worrying a little bit too much. Whatever. Life's life right?

Flying like a Butterfly

I feel so free! I finally left the guy who was driving me insane! But I guess that's what life is about. Like Forest Gump said "life's a box of chocolates." So true. Now that I feel like I am free, I feel like I have the whole world out there waiting for me. I don't have to worry about anything or anyone but myself. I can be happy again. Maybe life will start making sense again for me. JUST maybe things will finally turn around. I feel like maybe there are things I can look forward to again.
    I broke free! I'm not even joking. That's EXACTLY how I feel about it. I feel like everything is making sense. Do you believe in fate? I've been asking myself that for some days. I've been asking myself about if things could possibly be planned out to such a degree that I don't understand my own life. Maybe I don't. Maybe things are going to happen in my life that are so miraculous that no one will understand. No one.

I Ate the Forbidden Fruit!

Sometimes I look back and I wonder why the heck I do the things I do. Why do I seem to screw up EVERYTHING! I feel like a freakin' cat-lady. Well, I feel like I am going to turn into one. I want to be happy. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again and didn't have to worry about anything but what type of crayons I HAD to have or what clothes I HAVE to wear. Things just don't seem that simple anymore. Sometimes I feel so lost I just don't know what to do anymore. Why? That's the question that's been sturring up in the ragging waters of my mind. I hate hurting people, and I hate getting hurt. Is it alright for an adult to be so scared about something so new?  I feel like I am being thrown out into the world and everything is going to be different now. Now I worry about the people around me and how to please. I wish I didn't have to please anyone but myself. I wish that one day I could look back and say "hey, I did a good job at my life," or "man was I freakin' happy."
        Things are just complicated. I think I took high school for granted. I feel like college might be the same. I want to experience art and relationships in a more serious light. I want something to look forward too. Is that too much to ask for? A promised future that won't let me down. Promised people who won't let me down no matter what. I need some type of security and belonging in my life. Gosh, there I go rambling again. I just don't know people. Am I going more and more insane?

Do You Believe in Fate?

I have an issue people. A REAL ISSUE! I am stuck in a horrid relationship. It's a promised relationship so I don't know how to get out. The other problem....there is a guy. An amazing guy who seems to perfect to be true. Not even joking people! EVERYTHING in common. Same dreams and hobbies. WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT? It teases me daily!

Random Shiz

Well people of this planet, I have found myself in a slump artistically. I need a new idea, an epiphany. I need something to punch me hard in the face! While I sit here drinking an Oreo shake I still have no idea what to draw. I wanted it along the musical-wise. Maybe a HORRAH to all those wonderful musicians out there who get underappreciated all the time! Like Keith Moon from The Who, or Alex Skolnick from Testament. Something to show their reconition. I want them to have all the appreciation they deserve. What do you all think? Am I going insane yet?

SPRINGTIME FEVER

With the new weather and the high temps, I haven't felt much motivation to do anything. The heat makes me feel so tired. I have been sucking at the drums, and my passion for art has almost disappeared. I hate this weather. I hate feeling lazy. If it was a little cooler I would LOVE to go outside and draw some scenery. That sounds beautiful. What do you think?

My Art Project

Okay, so the whole idea I had for this aweosme art project was gluing a bunch of old records together to make a poster. Than I was going to paint them bright colors and paint other designs over them, like flowers and tattoo designs. I thought it was a perfect idea. Someone that lived near by me was sweet enough to donate all their  records to me. What do you think?

New Art Project?

ladies and gents, sit back and relax with your cold soda, probably throwing my thoughts out into the wind here. I've been sitting around at school all day with a knee that is KILLING me not able to do much walking. I guess sometimes life just decides to suck for you. Anyways, the weather has been really nice. Here is my idea: I have a million old records. What do you think about a new art project? Glue the records some-what together and paint on them my Ed Hardy like pictures I do? Make a GIANT poster of them. I guess that since I've been starting small it's time for a big project on my own.
  I've also been practicing the drums EVERY SINGLE DAY. I guess I would make a good metal drummer. I think I would and so does everyone else. So we'll see. I don't know. I need some feedback PLEASE!
-PJ \m/ \m/ keeping it metal