I have really isolated myself...

Every since ckasses started up for me I think I have seriously let myself go insane. My only type of human contact is through a cell phone or Facebook. I don't remember the last time I actually went out to have some fun. I guess that sometimes this winter I will be trying out clubbing. I need a social life.
   I guess it's a little too much to ask... I think this is everything a college student goes through. Our cell phones, labtops, and books become the only things we can rely on (and music of course). There would be NO life without music. It saves ilfe. Keeps me a little bit on the sane side.
   I have made strange friends over Facebook...some creep the shit out of me! I am not going to lie here, people. I have met people are even crazier then me! I didn't even know that was possible :D
   I screwed up this really good chance with a guy. As you all know, I have had a single status for some months now, and desperete to start the dating field again.
   What happend is I don't really like depressed people. I am sometimes depressed and there is only so much I can take from people. So because this person was seriously ALWAYS freakin depressed... I said something about it. I told them they couldn't let one event in their life define them forever... that's when I lost a friend. He never wants to talk to me again. I guess guys always have this cookie-cutter type person in mind, and when a girl speaks their mind, it freaks them out. Welcome to life. When will guys seriously grow some cohukas (just learned that word) and get over it? Women are people too, dispite what books and movies say.
   I have watched a lot of interesting movies lately since I have been alone. I stay up until like 4 watching movie like "Dazed and Confused," "The Breakfast Club," and even the old "Halloween." A bunch of really good movies that have nothing in common...except it shows off how stupid teenagers can be.
   "In high school everyone is either getting drunk, doing drugs, or laid, or all at the same time..." You know? It never changed. It's been the same for years, and I don't think it will ever changed.
   The funny thing is getting wasted, having sex, and getting high was fun when I was young in high school...after a while it just wasn't fun anymore. I found so much more important things in my life.
  9th grade it was essential to be high all the time... sophomore and junior year it was party -central and if you didn't sleep with people you were a complete freak...
   I tell you what people I did all three, all it left me with was hangovers, food cravings, weight-gain, and unwanted heartbreak.
   So those in high school, grow up...get everything out of your system because you will soon be introduced to the real world, where nothing matters besides college, work, and buying what you need.

What's Up?

I know that I really haven't been on here lately, but I have been so tired and busy from school. Who thought college takes so much out of you? I have been listening to a lot of music lately like Metallica, ACDC, and a lot of Testament (of course).   
 My older sister is moving back for a little bit until she finds an apartment, because her fiense and her didn't work out (after a year you would think you would know). My brother is working at a library ( even tough he NEVER picked up a book), and I am job searching and working my ass off at everything.

What ever happend to Louie Clemente?

   I am a big Testament fan... I listen to more of the stuff from the 80s and 90s. I like the thrash metal they used to really play. But since their old drummer Louie left, I have been curious...why did he really leave? I mean there are rumors that it was something to do with his wrists, and wanting a more stable career.
   But I wish I could really ask him why, and what was his thoughts, and why he doesn't play drums at all anymore. He was charismatic when it came to his drumming... I  always enjoyed the different expressions he had and all the hair tossing... VERY metal.
   I also wonder if he had stayed if they might have the same sound as before. I love Practice What You Preach, The New Order, The Ritual, The Legacy, and Souls of Black. They are all MY FAVORITES. They are on the top of my lists. I know that in the past they didn't get recognition until the late 80s early, but they made an impact in the world. They made me change my ideals of the world around me, and the music made me feel awesome. But I feel like with Louie leaving a new sound was created. I'm not bashing Testament's new stuff, because it is awesome... I just miss the thrash metal sound... I guess I just want the sound to live on \m/ \m/

Do you guys think I should pursue journalism?

I have been thinking a lot about it....about what career I should take. I was thinking about journalism since I love writing so much. I want to make a difference in the world. I want people to see my name and be like "Damn! She sure knows how to write!"
   I know that I wanted to pursue graphic design for a while. But I find myself leaning towards writing. It's my element I feel comfortable saying anything and  I want to relate to you guys, even if you don't freakin comment on ANYTHING that I post. 
   I believe that you can change the world with words. I think people are so curious that they NEED to know what is going on.There are so many topics out there people are afraid to write about.
   What do you think though? Should I go with my gut?

Things Are Not As They Seem

I know that sometimes I look  like I have everything put together, but I don't. Since college has started I have been feeling so alone, and my self confidence is really low. Who thought I would be rejected completely. What is wrong with me?
   I have been trying to make new friends and talk to people. But people don't seem to want to expand outside their comfort zone. I feel like it's high school all over again. I just feel like I am never going to find a place where I belong. Is it wrong to want to feel loved by people.
   I am sorry guys if I am being completely depressing, but I am soooooooooooooooo down right now. Is anyone even out there. I feel like I am writing to no one. PLEASE talk to me. I need someone. 

Update: What I've Been Up Too...No I Am Not Dead...

Hey people! Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  busy with school. I started my college classes last week and I have been swamped with homework. I haven't really been home and my internet keeps kicking me off... it's truthfully a piece of shit. But whatever. I'm hopefully getting it checked out this week.
   Anyways... I have realized a few new things in life...your internet becomes your best friend. Everything for class is online...even my book I have to read for English. I bought it online for cheaper then actually buying the book... but I want a better laptop so I am saving up the big bucks to buy one. I guess I am lucky that I have one that kinda works.
   I have been listening to a verity of music lately: everything from Slipknot to FamilyForce5. Yes, I love music like that. I have a very broadband of music. I love The Who and the Grateful Dead too...oh yeah the freaking 60's, man!
   I have found college enlightning... I love the people! They are so mature and all they really want to do is get to know people too... I already made a knew friend who is just as crazy about Slipknot as I am.
   I am also in the process of job searching. I have an interview on Thursday for a job at my college for a Graphic Design job... I am keeping my fringers crossed, but I honestly don't know. Even though I am going into Graphic Design (or journalism) I still don't know a whole lot about it. Maybe the guy with be merciful. WISH ME LUCK ON THAT!
   I also have been pretty lonely. I've been trying to look for a guy. I haven't been in relationship in months! I really need a good guy for once. I am getting older and I am impatient. I have a right to be. Being in college and not dating anyone is actually pretty stressful. You see everyone walking around all happy that they are in a relationship, and I am like  BOOHOO my life flippin sucks! 
   Whatever people, what have you been up to? I promise I will post something more interesting REAL SOON! Probably next weekend when I have another break. LOVE YA ALL! PCE