People... :P

Dear readers, I am sorry if today I become annoying. I am just pissed off and thought I would share my thoughts WHY. I read this really cool text saying something like "meet someone who will change your life not relationship status." It's cute. But it's not reality. How many times in your life time do you REALLY meet someone, the one, that changes your whole life for the better? Honestly, none. I think when people finally meet is much more quiet and AVERAGE! YES! I SAID IT! I don't care, because it's true. I speak the gospel, ladies and gents.
   I guess right now, suffering with the stomach flu, and being pissed off at everything I shouldn't have a right to get mad at the world. I guess sometimes I need to sit back. But there is one thing I learned: NEVER compromise your morals for someone. You get burned in the end. High school relationships show you that sometimes. 

Exploring Downtown Grand Rapids

I had so much fun last night exploring the artist lofts and apartments of downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was with a group of students from UICA, and we were looking into living options downtown. It was so much fun! I got to meet starting artist and find out what their lives were like.
   I've always loved the city, and always wanted to live in an apartment downtown. I like the people, art, and music found there. It would be completely BA to move down there. Good thing is it's not super expensive. Especially the part of town I was in. It would be near my college, and I think it's a good idea to look into in the future for my career. The whole artist places was called "Avenue for the Arts." It was a great program. I'm thinking about it. I don't know if I am really good enough yet. I wanna become a tattoo artist. I think I would be good. I designed my own tattoo I have so I think I just might have a chance. It's a good field and they get paid not too bad. I never wanted a fancy job like a doctor. I just wanted to enjoy what I do for a living. I think that's the most important. I could minor in Fine Arts. Do some medical training in college and BANG: tattoo artist.

Reality Check

Dear readers, if you ever get into the situation where people think that your world revolves around them...run. I swear to God run! Why does it seem every relationship is like that? Suddenly the moons and stars and suns all have to bow down to them? How pathetic.
   Idk... just been thinking about that lately and how pissed off I am getting at people always like "u never spend time with me" and it's like 8 people. I have a life. I am a student. That is first. 2nd is an author and writing. 3rd a drummer. Geez! That's all I have for now. CHECK OUT MY ART WORK =====>>> I'm going to put more up as I can. This is a stain glass looking puzzle piece. Took me about 3 hours to finish. What ya think?

Sad Excuse For a Teenager

With my high school career almost over, I realize I am a sad excuse for a teenager. I don't party or drink or smoke (well I try not to smoke). I don't do anything teenagers seem to do. I even go to bed at a descent hour! Like 9 or 10 o'clock. I just never thought about it before until now. It's kind of funny when you think about it. I just guess some people grow up faster than others. While teenagers are grabbing a bear I'm grabbing a nice cold soda. That sounds better.

Life: A New Beginning

Dear people of this Earth, I think things might be looking up agian. I feel like I'm...reborn or something. Trust me I feel just as awkward righting it as it sounds, but I write the truth. I woke up this morning feeling like I took a deep breathe of cool ocean breeze, or cold drink of water. Refreshed-ness. It's defiantly one of those feelings that I wish would last.
   But have you ever gotten that horrid feeling in the back of your brain that you know something REALLY bad is going to happen though? I feel that and I don't know why. It's like I am paranoid or something. Maybe I am. Whatever. I need to really start enjoying life. Maybe things will look up and be okay and I am just worrying a little bit too much. Whatever. Life's life right?

Flying like a Butterfly

I feel so free! I finally left the guy who was driving me insane! But I guess that's what life is about. Like Forest Gump said "life's a box of chocolates." So true. Now that I feel like I am free, I feel like I have the whole world out there waiting for me. I don't have to worry about anything or anyone but myself. I can be happy again. Maybe life will start making sense again for me. JUST maybe things will finally turn around. I feel like maybe there are things I can look forward to again.
    I broke free! I'm not even joking. That's EXACTLY how I feel about it. I feel like everything is making sense. Do you believe in fate? I've been asking myself that for some days. I've been asking myself about if things could possibly be planned out to such a degree that I don't understand my own life. Maybe I don't. Maybe things are going to happen in my life that are so miraculous that no one will understand. No one.

I Ate the Forbidden Fruit!

Sometimes I look back and I wonder why the heck I do the things I do. Why do I seem to screw up EVERYTHING! I feel like a freakin' cat-lady. Well, I feel like I am going to turn into one. I want to be happy. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again and didn't have to worry about anything but what type of crayons I HAD to have or what clothes I HAVE to wear. Things just don't seem that simple anymore. Sometimes I feel so lost I just don't know what to do anymore. Why? That's the question that's been sturring up in the ragging waters of my mind. I hate hurting people, and I hate getting hurt. Is it alright for an adult to be so scared about something so new?  I feel like I am being thrown out into the world and everything is going to be different now. Now I worry about the people around me and how to please. I wish I didn't have to please anyone but myself. I wish that one day I could look back and say "hey, I did a good job at my life," or "man was I freakin' happy."
        Things are just complicated. I think I took high school for granted. I feel like college might be the same. I want to experience art and relationships in a more serious light. I want something to look forward too. Is that too much to ask for? A promised future that won't let me down. Promised people who won't let me down no matter what. I need some type of security and belonging in my life. Gosh, there I go rambling again. I just don't know people. Am I going more and more insane?

Do You Believe in Fate?

I have an issue people. A REAL ISSUE! I am stuck in a horrid relationship. It's a promised relationship so I don't know how to get out. The other problem....there is a guy. An amazing guy who seems to perfect to be true. Not even joking people! EVERYTHING in common. Same dreams and hobbies. WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT? It teases me daily!