I feel like I should be in the movie Grease.

I was listening to some old school music and it reminded me of the movie Grease. It made me wish that I was in the movies, ya know? Everything is played out so well and things that are suppose to happen happen. Things aren't confusing anymore. It would relieve stress. I mean, I would love to know what will happen in my life to a certain extent... people I meet, people I wish I never met. The little things in life. Some things like me dying is something I would never want to know. Do you know what I mean? Things in life become so unbearable I just want to know what will make them right.
   I think we all want our life to be a movie sometimes. It seems more happy and well played out. What do you think?

Dear readers, today we have a very interesting topic: it's called what could happen and what happens. I could get up and get ready, but I end up in bed again for another 2 hours. I could talk things out with someone, but I decide to end it. I could become friends with the people I hate, but I end up hating them more.
   Things are very confusing right now with everything going on that's why I haven't been on in a while. I've been busy fixing my life and figuring out things. No, I don't have everything all together. I have everything BUT all together. I've had break-ups and I've reunited with friends.

   So I don't really have my thoughts together right now. I don't think I will ever have them truly together. I just wanna go to the beach. I think that's where I am going to end up spending most of my summer.

Isn't this pic trippy? I finally finished it today...took me 3 whole days to do it! UICA classes tonight, going to explore the art of the city of Grand Rapids! Should be interesting.
   Anyways I've been kinda sick lately, stomachs been upset and on top of that...still trying to get rid of a cold! Try a month with a cold! It's insane! You would think I would be over it by now.
     But readers, even though sometimes I feel like I am writing and throwing stuff out into the internet, I know you're there. Thank you! Okay, today I am trying to imagine myself on the beaches of California with the Beach Boys playing in the background. Crappy weather in Michigan, wondering if summer/spring will EVER come. Rain and low 50's temps. School is almost over for the year then it's COLLEGE! I'm so ready to get out of school! I'm having senior-idous and wanting to leave now and just get OUT of classes.
    Been listening to a lot of Testament's The Ritual album. Trying to figure out drum parts and shiz like that. Also learning lyrics. I love being able to sing to my favorite songs!
     I need art ideas!!!!! I am running out of things to paint! This one ^^^ is suppose to be Native American (ode' to my Native American background).

Art Work and the UICA

One of the few puzzle pieces I created. I am actually working on a Native American piece right now that is SO awesome! I am very excited for it. Once I am done I will surely put a picture up to show everyone. I've never been so excited about an art piece before. I am Native American so it's like an ode' to Native American's! Cherokee especially. This one ^^^ is kinda a random hippie piece of work. I don't like it as much as the stain-glassed rose piece. The other one took more time and looked more professional.
    Another UICA class tomorrow. I wonder if we will actually do some art soon! I got to meet some really awesome artist that put their work up there. (UICA =  Urban Institute of Conemperary Art). It's located in downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan. It's the perfect place for a starting artist like me to take classes and learn from the best.

Reality Check

Dear readers, if you ever get into the situation where people think that your world revolves around them...run. I swear to God run! Why does it seem every relationship is like that? Suddenly the moons and stars and suns all have to bow down to them? How pathetic.
   Idk... just been thinking about that lately and how pissed off I am getting at people always like "u never spend time with me" and it's like 8 people. I have a life. I am a student. That is first. 2nd is an author and writing. 3rd a drummer. Geez! That's all I have for now. CHECK OUT MY ART WORK =====>>> I'm going to put more up as I can. This is a stain glass looking puzzle piece. Took me about 3 hours to finish. What ya think?

Sad Excuse For a Teenager

With my high school career almost over, I realize I am a sad excuse for a teenager. I don't party or drink or smoke (well I try not to smoke). I don't do anything teenagers seem to do. I even go to bed at a descent hour! Like 9 or 10 o'clock. I just never thought about it before until now. It's kind of funny when you think about it. I just guess some people grow up faster than others. While teenagers are grabbing a bear I'm grabbing a nice cold soda. That sounds better.

ART!

I am personally really excited to announce that I will be getting back into art! I have started a program this week that will help me open my mind up to the world around me and suck it all in. It's kinda like breathing in air. I will breathe out all the art and creativity that is inside me and offer the world something new and brillant! What do you think about that? I am going to find a way to post pictures of my art here on my blog. Idk if it will work or not.

What I've Been Up Too

I have been bored out of my freaking mind! I feel like I'm getting depressed by staying inside all day and not doing anything. I don't even feel like painting. I have no energy to practice my drums and hang out. I need a life. I really do. Online seems to be the only way to go lately. Whatever.

Life: A New Beginning

Dear people of this Earth, I think things might be looking up agian. I feel like I'm...reborn or something. Trust me I feel just as awkward righting it as it sounds, but I write the truth. I woke up this morning feeling like I took a deep breathe of cool ocean breeze, or cold drink of water. Refreshed-ness. It's defiantly one of those feelings that I wish would last.
   But have you ever gotten that horrid feeling in the back of your brain that you know something REALLY bad is going to happen though? I feel that and I don't know why. It's like I am paranoid or something. Maybe I am. Whatever. I need to really start enjoying life. Maybe things will look up and be okay and I am just worrying a little bit too much. Whatever. Life's life right?

Flying like a Butterfly

I feel so free! I finally left the guy who was driving me insane! But I guess that's what life is about. Like Forest Gump said "life's a box of chocolates." So true. Now that I feel like I am free, I feel like I have the whole world out there waiting for me. I don't have to worry about anything or anyone but myself. I can be happy again. Maybe life will start making sense again for me. JUST maybe things will finally turn around. I feel like maybe there are things I can look forward to again.
    I broke free! I'm not even joking. That's EXACTLY how I feel about it. I feel like everything is making sense. Do you believe in fate? I've been asking myself that for some days. I've been asking myself about if things could possibly be planned out to such a degree that I don't understand my own life. Maybe I don't. Maybe things are going to happen in my life that are so miraculous that no one will understand. No one.

I Ate the Forbidden Fruit!

Sometimes I look back and I wonder why the heck I do the things I do. Why do I seem to screw up EVERYTHING! I feel like a freakin' cat-lady. Well, I feel like I am going to turn into one. I want to be happy. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again and didn't have to worry about anything but what type of crayons I HAD to have or what clothes I HAVE to wear. Things just don't seem that simple anymore. Sometimes I feel so lost I just don't know what to do anymore. Why? That's the question that's been sturring up in the ragging waters of my mind. I hate hurting people, and I hate getting hurt. Is it alright for an adult to be so scared about something so new?  I feel like I am being thrown out into the world and everything is going to be different now. Now I worry about the people around me and how to please. I wish I didn't have to please anyone but myself. I wish that one day I could look back and say "hey, I did a good job at my life," or "man was I freakin' happy."
        Things are just complicated. I think I took high school for granted. I feel like college might be the same. I want to experience art and relationships in a more serious light. I want something to look forward too. Is that too much to ask for? A promised future that won't let me down. Promised people who won't let me down no matter what. I need some type of security and belonging in my life. Gosh, there I go rambling again. I just don't know people. Am I going more and more insane?

Random Shiz

Well people of this planet, I have found myself in a slump artistically. I need a new idea, an epiphany. I need something to punch me hard in the face! While I sit here drinking an Oreo shake I still have no idea what to draw. I wanted it along the musical-wise. Maybe a HORRAH to all those wonderful musicians out there who get underappreciated all the time! Like Keith Moon from The Who, or Alex Skolnick from Testament. Something to show their reconition. I want them to have all the appreciation they deserve. What do you all think? Am I going insane yet?

New Art Project?

ladies and gents, sit back and relax with your cold soda, probably throwing my thoughts out into the wind here. I've been sitting around at school all day with a knee that is KILLING me not able to do much walking. I guess sometimes life just decides to suck for you. Anyways, the weather has been really nice. Here is my idea: I have a million old records. What do you think about a new art project? Glue the records some-what together and paint on them my Ed Hardy like pictures I do? Make a GIANT poster of them. I guess that since I've been starting small it's time for a big project on my own.
  I've also been practicing the drums EVERY SINGLE DAY. I guess I would make a good metal drummer. I think I would and so does everyone else. So we'll see. I don't know. I need some feedback PLEASE!
-PJ \m/ \m/ keeping it metal