I know what it's like to not feel beautiful to feel worthless... I have been cheated on and lied to so much, it's hard to believe there are decent people out there... it kills me inside.
I dated this guy (musician) for like a year... I thought we would get married and have a family together, it was that serious...but I couldn't believe it.
He spent the night at my best friends house (at the time) all the time. I didn't think much of it at first... I didn't want to believe it. I thought I loved him sooo much. But I found out after I broke up, he was not only sleeping over but having sex with her the whole time I was dating her. ALL THE TIME! She was my BEST FRIEND during that time. It hurt even more cause this girl was SO pretty (looked like Amy Lee). She actually introduced me to Testament.
I felt so hurt, I felt ugly beyond comprehension. I still have the worst time in the world believing I might be beautiful. Can a guy actually TRUELY love me forever? Will he told me and tell me he loves me?
Through high school I tried to have a relationship with my birth-dad (for I am adopted), and he brought me down by saying stuff like I was never wanted in the first place and shit like that. Brought me down like none other. Permanent scars. To think men can be so cruel....the people you look up too don't want anything to do with you.
I want you all to know, you are not alone, and one day that special person WILL show up and love you unconditionally. It's so freakin hard being patient. You feel so alone and helpless, not knowing who to trust. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! And to be honest I am high off of pain medication and I am blabbering
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